I think I want a group tattoo. Maybe a few of us could get our favorite kitchen appliances emblazened across our chests. Anyone in?
The weather turned to Heaven a few weeks before finals. I started to resent my job, which kept me indoors on what are supposed to be the glory days of my youth. This is ridiculous, because it is a great job, and customers actually tell me how great my $8-an-hour lot in life is as they trot out the door on shmancy rides.
I had a dream in which I had two little babies. I started out in a very confrontationally triumphant mood about it; I was proud of the fact that I was twenty-two and decided to have those kiddos despite societal pressure to do otherwise; and I demanded that my aunts coo over them at family gatherings. Through the rest of it, though, I started asking my friends what they were up to, and their tales of Cambodia, bike trips and beyond made me unbearably conscious of the weight of the 18 years that lay before me...I realized that I would never be able to do anything I wanted to do. I have never been so happy to wake up from a dream! That led me to withdraw my applications from the jobs for which I'd been competing...I don't know what I am going to do, but I realized that I didn't want anxiety to be the force that propels me forward in my next direction. I need some time away from Mac to really figure out the way I operate outside of school.
Not having a plan is always exciting in theory, but very rarely in practice. However, I think I know what I am getting into, and as long as I feel prepared for one to two lonely months with my parents back in Baltimore, I can continue this way.
Senior week's canoe trip was stellar, the riverboat cruise was worthy of its reputation, and graduation actually made me cry. Walking past the Geography professors, through the applauding crowd...it hadn't occurred to me that I should actually be proud of myself. I was overwhelmed and flustered and snotty and happy. The president told me that the Sudan divestment proposal passed as he was handing me my diploma. Ah, closure.
I got to bring my family around to oggle at what I've been doing for the past four years and to bask in their approval. It makes me realize that yes, this apartment is sunny and yes my friends are interesting. I brough a greasy-handed bike mechanic to eat Ethiopian finger food with us, and my father was impressed. He was likewise impressed by the hydroelectric plant. Amanda and I had a barbecue among the lilacs with guitars and our dear dear friends, and my older brother did a blues rendition of the ingredients on the rice krispies treat package. I moved in with BenTonyJaredJoe, and suddenly my life was filled with fireworks and other pyromaniacal phenomena. It is so fun to live with them.
My feminist women's chorus gave me the big solo, which was very nice of them because I think that they see me as the inexperienced one and they want to encourage me.
We started the junior mechanics' certification after-school program, and the kids shine shine shine.
The weather turned to Heaven a few weeks before finals. I started to resent my job, which kept me indoors on what are supposed to be the glory days of my youth. This is ridiculous, because it is a great job, and customers actually tell me how great my $8-an-hour lot in life is as they trot out the door on shmancy rides.
I had a dream in which I had two little babies. I started out in a very confrontationally triumphant mood about it; I was proud of the fact that I was twenty-two and decided to have those kiddos despite societal pressure to do otherwise; and I demanded that my aunts coo over them at family gatherings. Through the rest of it, though, I started asking my friends what they were up to, and their tales of Cambodia, bike trips and beyond made me unbearably conscious of the weight of the 18 years that lay before me...I realized that I would never be able to do anything I wanted to do. I have never been so happy to wake up from a dream! That led me to withdraw my applications from the jobs for which I'd been competing...I don't know what I am going to do, but I realized that I didn't want anxiety to be the force that propels me forward in my next direction. I need some time away from Mac to really figure out the way I operate outside of school.
Not having a plan is always exciting in theory, but very rarely in practice. However, I think I know what I am getting into, and as long as I feel prepared for one to two lonely months with my parents back in Baltimore, I can continue this way.
Senior week's canoe trip was stellar, the riverboat cruise was worthy of its reputation, and graduation actually made me cry. Walking past the Geography professors, through the applauding crowd...it hadn't occurred to me that I should actually be proud of myself. I was overwhelmed and flustered and snotty and happy. The president told me that the Sudan divestment proposal passed as he was handing me my diploma. Ah, closure.
I got to bring my family around to oggle at what I've been doing for the past four years and to bask in their approval. It makes me realize that yes, this apartment is sunny and yes my friends are interesting. I brough a greasy-handed bike mechanic to eat Ethiopian finger food with us, and my father was impressed. He was likewise impressed by the hydroelectric plant. Amanda and I had a barbecue among the lilacs with guitars and our dear dear friends, and my older brother did a blues rendition of the ingredients on the rice krispies treat package. I moved in with BenTonyJaredJoe, and suddenly my life was filled with fireworks and other pyromaniacal phenomena. It is so fun to live with them.
My feminist women's chorus gave me the big solo, which was very nice of them because I think that they see me as the inexperienced one and they want to encourage me.
We started the junior mechanics' certification after-school program, and the kids shine shine shine.

2 Comments:
Isn't it good to know you're already making a difference? And I won't tell you about the image of food processors you have imprinted on my brain.
Sandy - I want the kitchen sink emblazened (is that a word? I forget) from nipple to nipple!
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