Went to DC yesterday. I turned in my application to work for the Friends Committee on National Legislation, a Very Incredible Big Deal non-profit that lobbies congress on just about every issue I care about, from climate change to Native Americans to the war. I was expecting the office to be cramped and hectic; instead it is a multi-million dollar Leed's certified green building, geo-thermally heated, with about forty employees. Working there is a great opportunity--as long as I don't let DC wrap its networking talons around me and devour my soul.
Which is, in fact, a very real possibility. I am cynical and judge good-looking people in suits. I was sitting there thinking "I could do this--I could feel important and STILL be a cool, fun person on the inside"--and then it dawned on me that every single person on the street has the same idea running through his head. I realized awhile ago that my desire to go to law school stemmed from a desire to feel legitimate and smart. Law school, in my eyes, is an outward manifestation of a very deep insecurity. I am beginning to see that many people make life decisions based on insecurity and fear. You have to be very brave to risk being a Nobody! I think that this is where those psalms about trusting God to clothe you and feed you come in.
Anyway, even my strong-willed friends that live in DC all seem to be worn thin by the culture there. They have had to work hard to carve an existence that resembles happiness. Which is true everywhere, but for some reason on this visit everything seemed to be dragged down...I don't know, it just feels like the whole place has something to prove. Conclusion: I could do the internship and lead an acceptably happy existence, but because I have a plethora of options before me, it is not looking very attractive at the moment.
Went on a 30-miler yesterday! Even the outer 'burbs can be beautiful when it's 65 degrees in January.
Which is, in fact, a very real possibility. I am cynical and judge good-looking people in suits. I was sitting there thinking "I could do this--I could feel important and STILL be a cool, fun person on the inside"--and then it dawned on me that every single person on the street has the same idea running through his head. I realized awhile ago that my desire to go to law school stemmed from a desire to feel legitimate and smart. Law school, in my eyes, is an outward manifestation of a very deep insecurity. I am beginning to see that many people make life decisions based on insecurity and fear. You have to be very brave to risk being a Nobody! I think that this is where those psalms about trusting God to clothe you and feed you come in.
Anyway, even my strong-willed friends that live in DC all seem to be worn thin by the culture there. They have had to work hard to carve an existence that resembles happiness. Which is true everywhere, but for some reason on this visit everything seemed to be dragged down...I don't know, it just feels like the whole place has something to prove. Conclusion: I could do the internship and lead an acceptably happy existence, but because I have a plethora of options before me, it is not looking very attractive at the moment.
Went on a 30-miler yesterday! Even the outer 'burbs can be beautiful when it's 65 degrees in January.
posted by Sandy at 9:45 PM
1 Comments:
I have frequent chats with Ruth Flower, a lawyer working at FCNL as we speak. I think you might find her outlook enlightening and energizing in an enormously practical sort of way.
Post a Comment
<< Home